Settled In Faith

Elaine Utting

Over the years, whenever I’d been facing a scary problem, maybe conflicts with family or work colleagues, or more recently health issues, I had developed a way through.

I would remember some encouraging words from the Bible or a worship song and, while the difficulty was playing out, I’d repeat them to myself in my head.

For example: a few years ago when my sight seemed to be failing, the treatment was to work on the inside of my eye to flatten tissues that had become uneven. I had to lie under bright lights, with my eyelids stuck open with adhesive tape. I could see the face of the doctor really close to mine as he worked intently, and even the instrument he was using inside my eye!

Over and over again as I lay there, I sang to myself this snatch from One Thing Remains by Jesus Culture:

Your love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me.

It helped me through a very tense hour or so!

More recently though, the way this works has changed.

Earlier this year I was diagnosed with a serious heart problem.
I had been aware all year that I was the age my mother was when she died, and I became concerned that I too would die this year. Which didn’t make sense - I had already faced death without fear when we had a car accident early in our marriage. And I had faith to sustain me, whereas my family had been hostile to faith.

I searched for scriptures to encourage myself, but nothing seemed to relieve my feelings.
Then I saw this one:

...it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life of your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ...
1 Peter 1: 18-19 (NIV)

Instead of needing to repeat the words, it was as if a light went on in my brain, and a wave of relief flooded my heart! My times were in my Heavenly Father’s hands, not limited by anything inherited.

I still felt concern though, for how I would handle the treatment, and whether it would be successful. I searched again for a scripture I could hold on to. But nothing seemed to hit the spot. Going in to the hospital was a bit tense, and I wished I had a word or a song I could encourage myself with.

Instead, underneath the stress, which was very real, I realised I felt a peace that seemed to exist at a deeper level; as if the stress was a very surface thing. Deep in my heart I knew my Lord was with me, whatever the outcome might be, and He would help me deal with the implications, in spite of my very human worries & fears.

Back at home I kept thinking about this new approach. There was no doubt I had been worried. Had I been lacking in faith? Why had the Lord not given me a scripture or a song as he had so many times before?

Then this verse in my daily reading made sense of it.

He (or she!) does not fear bad news, nor live in dread of what may happen.
For he is settled in his mind that Jehovah will take care of him.
Psalm 112 : 7 (TLB)

Perhaps I am beginning to learn this lesson: feeling the human emotions, but not bound by them - settled deep inside that, by His grace and love, my Lord will take care of me.

Through many dangers, toils and snares I have already come.
’Tis grace has brought me safe thus far, and grace will bring me home.
From the hymn Amazing Grace by John Newton.